Dear Heart,

A text from you:

Hey, C! We're all heading out tonight. Hoping you'll come along too?? x

Urgh, and just like that you are smack bang at the front of my mind again. I get all swept up in the moment. My heart fluttering because you have thought of me.

Then I actually think about it. Can I afford it before payday? Can I even be bothered?

My reply:

Aye up. Yeah maybe, not sure. What's the plan? x

Your reply comes in an instant, so unlike you, and declares that I have to come out, for old times sake. We've not all been out in ages, that is true after all. I guess, it's how much you seem to genuinely want me to come that makes me make up my mind.
Even though I have hardly any money.
Even though I have nothing to wear.
Even though I've not seen you for ages.
I'll be there.

Love (with hope),

Me

Dear Heart,

I have been doing a lot of inward soul searching of late. Over the past few years I have felt my heart and soul growing darker and more heavy. Recently it has become too much of a burden for me to carry on my own and without having someone to share in those hard moments with I decided to take the plunge and see a professional.

For now, I am moving along slowly. Trying to learn to love myself more than anything else - which has always been something I know I have struggled with. One day soon perhaps I will get there.

I do find myself yearning for someone like you, who always made me feel like I was someone special and worthwhile. Like I was destined for great things and was this presence that brought light to the world. Perhaps I need to try to make myself feel like that instead.

Love (alone),
Me

Dear Heart,

You're like a drug. When I spend any time with you it takes me so long to get over it. I sit doing my everyday life jobs and you just creep into my mind. Whisperings of all the memories we have shared. I find myself daydreaming of what I want to happen; of how our lives will one day be entwined and everyone of our friends would declare that it was "about time!" Then I have to haul myself back into the real world and hope and pray that perhaps one day my dream would come true. 

I know I shouldn't allow myself to feel like this and dream like this, but it's your fault! You do these things to me! You make me dream and feel inspired again. I wonder how long it'll take me to get over you this time? Last time I managed to tell myself that I needed to just let go… now I just can't. Why didn't I say all the things I wanted to say when I had the chance?! One day I will tell you, I have to or I will always be daydreaming and wondering. I'll be lost in my hopes and wishes and never move on and live my life (with or without you). 

Please don't forget me. 

Love (I guess always),

Me.